Fried Egg
fried egg
sticks to the pan
i haven’t added enough butter but
no amount
fixes
this dryness
i have been asking you
to leave me alone
for two years now
and yet
you still
won’t stop bothering me
the spatula scrapes
against egg clinging to a pan
burning crisps
and undercooked egg whites
i told you
that i was in the greatest grief
i told you
that two of my good friends
had killed themselves recently
and that one of my closest friends
had died two weeks before my birthday
that summer
popped yolk
fills the pan
burns in that way
that just isn’t right
and this kitchen is filled
with that
disgusting
egg smell
it took you
only two (2) weeks
for you to go back
to asking me to fuck
after i told you
that i was going through too much
the dollar store bacon
didn’t give enough grease
and burned in
an unappetizing way
i don’t want
to have sex
with you
and i’ve been telling you that
for years
i don’t want
to be your boyfriend
and i’ve been telling you that
for years
i don’t want
to be your friend
and i’ve been telling you that
for years
i don’t want
you to talk to me
and i’ve been telling you that
for years
the butter
is running out
and can’t buy
any more
stop
treating me like a friend
whenever you see me on campus
when i have told you
so many times
that i just want you to leave me alone
i clean the
charred pan
and i scrape
with the abrasive side
of the kitchen sponge
i considered
a restraining order
and i’m still
thinking about it
but it’s not like
you would respect that anyway
this egg
is disgusting
and undercooked
and charred
and it scraped out of the pan
so badly
fuck off
that’s all i want you to do
just fuck off
and leave me alone
Two (2) Slices of Baloney
two (2) slices of bread
mayonnaise
mustard
two (2) slices of that disgusting plastic cheese
two (2) slices of baloney
six (6) pickle slices
i’m eating a
struggle breakfast
yet again
i eat this meal
in front of the tv again
this time i’m binging
regular show
which i like for many reasons
but one of them being
that it’s a cartoon about
what it’s like to be in your twenties
working at a job you don’t want
never having gone to college
dollar store bread
breaks easily in your hands
i’m a college student
working a volunteer job
i’ve gotten tired
of the processed chemicals
i can feel hurting my tongue
they say that college
makes you a radical
but it’s poverty
that does
and yeah
i was raised
in a very privileged
middle class white household
in seattle
so i can’t say
i grew up in this
but growing up transgender
in a country
that doesn’t see healthcare as a human right
charges thousands of dollars
and works every ounce it’s got
to prevent me
from getting what i need
i have worked
two (2) minimum wage jobs
previously
to try to raise
over seven thousand (7,000+)
dollars
and i still feel guilty
every time
i buy groceries
from the dollar store
and grocery outlet
because all that top surgery money
keeps going down the drain
and i know that
i’ve only got four quarters left until i graduate
and then i can work slave wages
until i get my healthcare
but
this isn’t freedom
i shouldn’t have to
subject myself to
the capitalist hell
just to get
what should’ve been already covered as a basic human right
baloney sandwich
is satisfying
but i needed
to save
that money
for that surgery
i need
which keeps throwing itself
years and years
out of my reach
this sandwich
tastes like
salt.